Friday, September 4, 2009

It is Just Funny, and Cute.

The following are excerpts of my life. Enjoy.

A Son's Love

"I love you Mom," my three-year-old son told me as I tucked him into bed.
"I love you more!" I replied.
"Well, I love you more-ther," he comes back at me.
I chuckled at his youthfulness and said, "I love you more than the sun sweetheart." I went to the door and turned back and looked at my precious boy before I turned out the light. He laid there all snuggled in his blanket and grinned at me.
"What's so funny?" I asked him.
"Mom, I just love you more than a lottery ticket, that's all," he giggled.

The Birds and the Bees

On the way home from school one day my twelve-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, the teacher at school said that if you have sex you can get pregnant. Is this true? Is this really how babies get in a mom's belly?"
Oh, crap! I thought to myself.
"Well sweetheart, it is true. When a mommy and daddy want to have a baby, sex is involved."
"So, you and daddy had sex each time you got pregnant?" she asked.
"Yes," I said, "I became pregnant by having sex."

A few days later I had to carpool my daughter and her friend's home from volleyball practice. From the backseat I heard, "Well, my Mom had sex three times and yours only had sex once since you are an only child," my daughter told her friend in what sounded like a proud tone.

Daughterly Love

"I was here first!" my teenage daughter #1 shouted from the bathroom
"Yeah, but you've been in here for an hour," teenage daughter #2 retorted.
"That's only because I want to look pretty for school!" teenage daughter #1 came back at her.
"Well, seeing as how it takes you all day in the bathroom to look all pretty, you must be pretty ugly!" teenage daughter #2 yelled.
A moment before I made it to the bathroom door to settle the argument I heard teenage daughter #1 shout, "Well, your mom's uglier!"
"Ummm, hello? I'm standing right here and for your information I am the mother to both of you," I said.

On the Porch

Teenage daughter #1 and I were sitting on the porch swing talking about school. It was the first time we really were able to just sit and talk without any interruptions in a long time. My son was playing a game on the computer in the living room, and teenage daughter #2 was in the bathroom singing.
We sat there just chatting for oh, about ten minutes before the house door opened and teenage daughter #2 poked her head out. She looked as if we were up to something and she had been left out.
"What are you doing out here?" she asked accusingly. She looked from me to her sister then back to me again.
Teenage daughter #1 sat forward in the swing and put the same accusing look on her face and said, "Well, what are you doing in there?"