The True Life Accounts of Z.M. Dreamer

True Story: Being the seeker in hide & seek is not fun when while you are hiding your eyes and counting, the hiders actually leave the premises to go play ball a mile away.

True Story: If you jump from a 10 foot ledge into a coal pile and let your knees bend and give out under the force of the jump, 2 black eyes will appear.

True Story: No matter what my dad says, I was never lost in a heating duct.

True Story: If your mama tells you not to leave toys in the car while shopping because they could get stolen, listen to her because it does happen.

True Story: Doing flip flops on the A-frame roof of the garage when you are 6 years old is NOT safe, no matter what your older brother tells you.

True Story: Placing explosives in a drilled water well inside a well house WILL forcibly blow the roof off of the well house and make it land 50 feet away, not to mention the whoop of the explosives will make your ears ring for a week.

True Story: Nobody really knows how old my dad except me and a few other people because the mining industry wouldn't hire 40-year-olds years ago. There is truth in discrimination.

True Story: My mama couldn't think of a name for me when I was born, so since I was the last child of 13, she picked the last name from the baby book. Living in the 80's with the name of Zita was pretty rough. However, I recently found out that my birthday is officially Saint Zita's Day. Imagine that!

True Story: When you are 5 years old, never trust your older brothers. When they dare you to go to the altar when the preacher is calling out for sinners and say they will follow you up, they are lying, IN A CHURCH! You WILL be preached at very loudly and your mama will have an embarrassing look on her face for a long time and you will never forget it and your brothers will deny the dare completely.

True Story: Real outhouses may look cool from a distance, but they aren't at all cool when you actually have to use one.

True Story: Riding in the bucket of an en-loader (like a bulldozer with a bucket instead of a blade), is actually pretty cool! Until your dad, who is driving it, tells you to hang on and tries to dump you out.

More to come later.....